Breaking point of RAGE

اعوذ بالله من الشيطان الرجيم
بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم
وصلات والسلام علي سيدنا محمد طب القلوب ودوائها نور الابصار و ضياءها و العافية الابدان و شفاءها و على آله و اصحابه و سلّم اما بعد
قال الله تعلى عزّة و جلّ في الكتاب الهودى

(لِلَّهِ مَا فِي السَّمَاوَاتِ وَمَا فِي الْأَرْضِ ۗ وَإِنْ تُبْدُوا مَا فِي أَنْفُسِكُمْ أَوْ تُخْفُوهُ يُحَاسِبْكُمْ بِهِ اللَّهُ ۖ فَيَغْفِرُ لِمَنْ يَشَاءُ وَيُعَذِّبُ مَنْ يَشَاءُ ۗ وَاللَّهُ عَلَىٰ كُلِّ شَيْءٍ قَدِيرٌ * آمَنَ الرَّسُولُ بِمَا أُنْزِلَ إِلَيْهِ مِنْ رَبِّهِ وَالْمُؤْمِنُونَ ۚ كُلٌّ آمَنَ بِاللَّهِ وَمَلَائِكَتِهِ وَكُتُبِهِ وَرُسُلِهِ لَا نُفَرِّقُ بَيْنَ أَحَدٍ مِنْ رُسُلِهِ ۚ وَقَالُوا سَمِعْنَا وَأَطَعْنَا ۖ غُفْرَانَكَ رَبَّنَا وَإِلَيْكَ الْمَصِيرُ * لَا يُكَلِّفُ اللَّهُ نَفْسًا إِلَّا وُسْعَهَا ۚ لَهَا مَا كَسَبَتْ وَعَلَيْهَا مَا اكْتَسَبَتْ ۗ رَبَّنَا لَا تُؤَاخِذْنَا إِنْ نَسِينَا أَوْ أَخْطَأْنَا ۚ رَبَّنَا وَلَا تَحْمِلْ عَلَيْنَا إِصْرًا كَمَا حَمَلْتَهُ عَلَى الَّذِينَ مِنْ قَبْلِنَا ۚ رَبَّنَا وَلَا تُحَمِّلْنَا مَا لَا طَاقَةَ لَنَا بِهِ ۖ وَاعْفُ عَنَّا وَاغْفِرْ لَنَا وَارْحَمْنَا ۚ أَنْتَ مَوْلَانَا فَانْصُرْنَا عَلَى الْقَوْمِ الْكَافِرِينَ)

[Surat Al-Baqara 284 – 286]
To Allah belongs whatever is in the heavens and whatever is in the earth. Whether you show what is within yourselves or conceal it, Allah will bring you to account for it. Then He will forgive whom He wills and punish whom He wills, and Allah is over all things competent. (284)
The Messenger has believed in what was revealed to him from his Lord, and [so have] the believers. All of them have believed in Allah and His angels and His books and His messengers, [saying], “We make no distinction between any of His messengers.” And they say, “We hear and we obey. [We seek] Your forgiveness, our Lord, and to You is the [final] destination.(285)
Allah does not charge a soul except [with that within] its capacity. It will have [the consequence of] what [good] it has gained, and it will bear [the consequence of] what [evil] it has earned. “Our Lord, do not impose blame upon us if we have forgotten or erred. Our Lord, and lay not upon us a burden like that which You laid upon those before us. Our Lord, and burden us not with that which we have no ability to bear. And pardon us; and forgive us; and have mercy upon us. You are our protector, so give us victory over the disbelieving people. (286)”
via @QuranAndroid

The following is from the Forty by An-Ninowy رحيم الله تعلى
عــن أبـي هـريـرة رضي الله عــنـه ، ان رجــلا قـــال للـنـبي صلي الله عـلـيـه وسـلـم : أوصــني . قال “لا تغضب” فردد مرارًا ، قال : ( لا تغضب ). رواه البخاري [ رقم : 6116 ].

On the authority of Abu Hurairah, who said : a man said to the prophet : Counsel me. He said :  Do not become angry. The man repeated [his request] several times, and he said: Do not become angry . Narrated by Bukhari رحمه الله تعالى
This  has become  a tremendous FITNA for me. I have a RAGE. Boiling in my chest.
Do you want to know why?
Because I do not Recite the ayaat above. Who came before me? James Sr. , then James Jr., then me. They had rage, had I recite of these I had done all I would have removed rage, for it was their burden that they had to bear. Now that I’m confident and understanding that I have this problem, I MUST act on the knowledge Allah, subhanhu Wa ta’ala, has granted me.
If I recited these ayaat, like I know to, Allah would, إن شاء الله،  give me
التوفيق و الهدى من عنده والشفاء من المرض الروحي بلدي
It is my jihad, to struggle to kill my lowest base desires, without destroying them. Because Allah give this anger for a reason. That reason is manifold.
At the forefront all of the reasons we has within our hearts anger is so we what is righteous indignation against the tyrants, and to be angry with ourselves, and so we may, as I stated, destroy our lower selves. Imam Muhammad Al-Ghazali’s The The Alchemy of Happiness makes more sense than my gibberish rantings.
And thus my dear readers, make dua for me, pray for me, if ever anything that I’ve penned has touched you or helped you.
و الله  المستعان